INSPIRATION FROM AN UNEXPECTED SOURCE

 Funerals are a very sad occasion and having said that I can never get used to them, but if there is one thing for sure about them is that in the midst of mourning it surely brings people into your life that you have not seen in a long time. During my father’s funeral it was not an exception I got to see family members; relatives and friends that I had not seen in a long time. One person that stands out for me has to be an old family friend who we had not seen in the past ten years or so. As my brother and I started reminiscing about the past; the good times and the not so good times; we also remembered some of circumstances that would make him come spend time “hibernating” in our home.

You see our “uncle” that is what I will call him for now, was a hard core criminal. He would come to visit our home in Venda to hide from the police. As we stood with him trying to catch up, a childhood friend recognized him as someone that he works with in the same building. My brother and I stood there in disbelief as our “uncle” confirmed what this childhood friend has alluded to us. When everyone was gone we started talking about this strange encounter, as we asked ourselves what a hard core criminal was doing in an office. I mean do car hijackers rent offices these days, as we asked each other jokingly. We later learned that he was now in the straight and narrow and has turned his life around.

A week ago while my brother was visiting my home we decided to give “our uncle” a call and spend some time with him. As we were sitting over drinks listening to him talking about what he now does for a living and his experience on writing business proposal and starting your own business, I just could not believe my ears. How does a hard core criminal turn his life around? Is he for real or am I dreaming?  Has he really walked away from the life he once knew and enjoyed? What was the reason for the change?

As the conversation went deeper my uncle went to give one of the most profound testimonies that went on to ignite a fire of hope in the inside of me that will never die. He went on to explain that the law finally caught up with him and he had to serve a prison term, and while serving his sentence he decided to further his studies and make plans to turn  his life around. By the time he was released he had a plan of turning his life around, which was a business idea.

My uncle went to share with us valuable lessons that will cherish more than gold for as long as I live. I must say it is so true what Ms. Oprah says “inner wisdom is more precious than wealth. The more you spend it the more you gain”.

First lessons: Never write yourself off.  He explained that people will write you off and they have the right to an opinion, but do not write yourself off. When he came out of jail he believed in his dream and he never lost hope. He was more than determined to live a normal life. He had spent most of his life hiding from the law and living like a rat, and he wanted a different life for himself.  When he looks at his life at this moment he is proud of himself, he is now a law abiding citizen, earning a salary and making a positive contribution to the economy. What I learned is that life is full of second chances; you have to believe that for yourself and be willing to take them.

Secondly you must have a plan: While still in jail he put together a business proposal that was just waiting for him to be released from jail. He did not waste time feeling sorry for himself, but took responsibility for his life, and did the best at that moment, which put him in the best place for the next moment. After being released with nothing but a business plan and confidence in himself he went to one of the South African bank and arranged a meeting to share the idea. He did not take into consideration his past and his criminal record. He believed in himself and the beauty of his dream and it was all he needed. The bank asked him to come back and do a proper presentation and as they say the rest is history.  He then asked pivotal question, how many people can convince the bank to give them a mere R1000.00? He managed to persuade the bank to fund his business idea. The truth is not so many, his secret was doing his research, using his time in jail productively and he did not just put a business proposal but ended up with what he called a convincing bankable business proposal.

Third lesson: never compare your achievements with anyone else. Sometimes it is very easy to feel like life has kind of left you behind, especially when you compare your life to your peers. My uncle simply said another person’s success is none of your business. If you compare yourself to others you will lose focus. Come to think of it, it is so true; we are all different and we achieve our goals at different stages of our lives, because our paths are different. The truth is not everyone is what I call a text book case. I describe text book case as born to a 2.5 family, slept through the night in your own cot bed at 6 months old, walked at nine months old, started talking by two years of age, went to crèche, completed high school by seventeen years old with great marks and got admitted to one of the top university, completed in record time, got a good paying job and married your high school sweetheart.  I am running out of breath just writing this. If you fit that description I am happy for you. Some of us repeated a few grades or passed Grade 12 and had no idea what we wanted to study at university or  which career to pursue; if we did realized that it was the wrong choice along the way or worse there was no money for tertiary education, some of us had to enter the job market with no tertiary education and study while on the job or even study while already holding a full time job, with kids and a husband,  some of us had kids in high school, or before marriage or are not even with the father or mother  of their first child anymore. I have to say I take this lesson and bury it in my heart and I will remind myself that even though I might not be where I want to be or have taken an unorthodox route to my dreams or destiny; but as long as I do not give up I will reach my goal.  From that day on my secret prayer is thank you God for my unique journey, I know you are working everything out for my good.

Fourth lesson: You are as old as you think. Every year when he celebrates his birthday he gets very excited and feels that he is just a year younger. Being in jail gave him the opportunity to study and get a formal qualification, at an age where most of us would have not seen the need. He has not stopped studying since, he described his house as a library and he is enjoying furthering his study and gaining knowledge at his age. This just goes to prove that wisdom and knowledge is more valuable than silver and gold.

So what you are waiting for? Are you still going to use age or circumstances or your past as a reason to give up on living your life to the fullest? If a former convict can embrace a second chance for himself, what is your reason for giving up on yourself and your dreams? I must say it does not matter how you start, but what matters is how you progress and reach your destiny. In the words of Nelson Mandela “The greatest glory in living, lies not in never failing but in rising every time we fall”.