August is celebrated as women’s
months in our country and it is the months I also celebrate my birthday. This
year it coincided with a completion of a long standing project in my life. It
is a pretty special months for me. I always had this dream for years and five
years ago, I took the opportunity to turn the dream in to vision. Little did I
know that I will have my own wilderness to the promise land experience? When it
all started I thought it was going to be just pretty straight forward, maybe a
few little bumps along the way, but in less than a year it will all be complete
and I will be in my land flowing with milk and honey. I had a different
mind-set then, I thought if the vision was placed in my heart by God it meant I
would never come across difficulties and struggles, and it is going to be
smooth sailing all the way. In a few months people will be able to see my fairy
tale story and just say exclaim wow “and she lived happily ever after”. I did
not take into consideration the evil step mom in the kids fairy tale that they
exist in other forms and shapes in real life. Like the Israelite I did not
expect to come across the red sea in front of me and an army of Egyptians on my
tail. I was not ready honestly for that, I just wanted to arrive to my promise
land with no distractions, roadblocks or red sea or the Egyptians. I expected
to get to the end of the fairy tale and just hear the line in my head “and they
live happily ever after”.
I am here in my promised land and
it is everything I dreamt about and more. I can now say that when the bible
says God is able to do exceedingly
abundantly above all that we can ever ask or think of (Ephesians 3:20) and we know that all things works together
for good to them that love God …..(Romans 8:28) I have lived to experience it.
Don’t get side tracked it was not all romantic, I was not any better than the
Israelite along my journey I murmured, I complain, I was frustrated, I doubted
and questioned my dreams and God’s plan for my life. In the beginning I just
wanted to arrive to the end of my journey with no lesson learned, I was not interested
in process at all. I did not care nor even bothered to ask myself if there was
a lesson for me. I would literally cry, throw temper tantrums and question God.
Why did so and so not experience what I am experiencing? Why does their journey
look so smooth from where I am standing?
I would also ask God if this is what he wanted me to have. Is this meant
for someone like me or did I push my own agenda here? Believe me when I say I
was not any better than the Israelites, but through it all at the end I did not
throw in the towel. I am going to be honest it was not because I was the
smartest, most courageous or strongest or wisest person on earth. I will not be
telling the whole truth. It was a combination of the grace of God and
surrounding myself with loving caring people in my life.
So today I want to pay tribute to
two types of people I met through my journey to my promise land. The first
group is what I will call the Negative group: this is how I describe them,
everyone who said no to me, everyone who slammed the door on my face and forced
me to find another way of pursing the dream that was in my heart other than the
traditional way of doing things. They negative respond or the door that they
slammed in my face might have caused my nose to become a bit flat, (believe me when
I say there was a year where the door was slammed in my face and at the end I
thought this is it for my poor flat nose it will not survive I am going to need
nose job) but it also assisted me in thinking outside the box and also moved
from thinking outside the box to thinking that there was no box. I
really got to learn and live the meaning of Jim Rohn ‘s words when he said “ if
you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t you will find
an excuse. There was a point when I felt condemn by the nos’s and the doors
being slammed in my face that I actually thought whenever I would stand-up dust
myself and looked for other ways I would actually say to myself “You must be a sucker for pain and humiliation
girl”.
The second people in the Negative
group are the cynical people, the nee-sayers, the ones who have nothing positive
to say, the ones who are always at hand to remind you that it is impossible, it
cannot be done, you are way in over your head, you are too ambitious, how can
you stand to humiliate yourself like this. Who has ever done it in your family
and what makes you think you will make it unless you are following the
traditional way of doing things. Who do you think you are? I am so grateful I met them in my life because
they contributed to who I am today. I moved from fearing their negative
pessimistic gloomy words, dreading their looks and dodging their snide comments
when you meet them( we all have those people who are so sarcastic when you
share a dream with them and when it is delayed you can see and feel how
gratified they are when things are not going according to plan).
Last but not least in the
Negative group is the so called friends you don’t need. Friend that seems
excited when you share the dream with but as soon as you hit the first road
block their quick to say I always thought you were way in over your head in the
first place, they are always ready to have a pity party with you, they tell you
what you need to hear. Believe me when I say they delay your creative process
in thinking outside the box, they confide you in a space of self-loathing and
never challenge you. It is so comforting, yet so dangerous and addictive like a
drug. You hit a road block and if you are not wise you might stay there and
build a permanent camp because you have someone who sympathizes with your
fears, disappointments, helps you lick your wounds and instead of experiencing a
one day pity party you end up staying there and build a mansion. You are not
supposed to stay there, pity party are supposed to last for a day and then a
solder must stand up and continue on their fight for their dreams.
The last two the negative group
is most dangerous ones because they are close to us, they are friends, family
and acquaintances they are part of our lives. They are there for a reason to
keep us focus. There are there to teach lessons because it is not about just
reaching a goal or a dream it is about the process. The process of reaching the
dream is supposed to refine us, mold us and shape us into better human beings.
The process of reaching a dream can make us bitter or better person, and we
should be striving for the latter.
The second group is the group
that every human being should have. A supportive group. This is all in the form
of friends, family, praying partners and mentors. A valuable lesson that I had
to learn the hard way in life is that somebody does not like you or does not believe
in you or your dream , don’t take it personally. It does not mean that they are
a bad person. They are just not part of your destiny. If you keep moving
forward you will come into the people that God has ordained for you. I am
talking about people who will listen to your dream and encourage you, people
who will remind you of your dreams when you have lost or strayed from your
path. People who will not support or attend your pity party but will comfort
you but expect better from you. People who will still believe in your dream
when you have no hope left in you, those that will see your progress when you
don’t even feel it anymore. Those friends who will pray with you when all you
want to do is just walk away from it all. We all need those friends who are not
afraid to tell us what we need to hear as opposed to what we want to hear. People
who are not afraid to confront us when we have gone astray or lost the plot.
In life it is of paramount
importance to understand that people come into our lives for a reason, and learn
the lessons that they bring. I am now a firm believer that if you let go of the
wrong people and keep moving forward you will come into the people God has
placed in your path. God has divine connections in your future. People that
will celebrate you, people that will want to be your friends, people that will
go out of their way to be good to you, assist and open doors for you. Those are
the people you need to celebrate and show your gratitude. So failure, delay and
struggles should never discourage us but they should make us better, we should
celebrate and appreciate our achievements and milestones because they don’t
come easy.
