ToastMasters Journey

I had the opportunity to be part of a Toastmasters club a few years back, I actually went through the whole nine yard, registered and did my first speech. Unfortunately, life swallowed me and I dropped out. Fast forward to 2017, a colleague invited me to a meeting for kick starting the Toastmasters club at work I decided to take the opportunity without thinking twice. I guess the year 2017 is a year of dusting myself and polishing my skills. I honestly subscribe to self-improvement, learning new skills or polishing skills.

What is Toastmasters about you may ask? Let me share with you what I know so far about the concept. It is basically a nonprofit organization that teaches people about public speaking, communication, and leadership skills. You organize yourself, form a club and follow a set of rules and guidelines provided by Toastmasters Organization, to master the art of public speaking. The organization has been operating since 1924.

Why would anyone want to improve their communication or public speaking? My question is who would not want to improve their communication and leadership skills in this day and age? We live in a fast pace environment where making first impression is key to getting your message across. I have embarked on a journey to profile women entrepreneurs, from all walks of life who originally hail from my home province. I take this very seriously, I want to give it the attention and professionalism that it deserves. Toastmasters will help me polish my communication skills. I will get better at interviewing and presenting each and every story with clarity and energy it deserves. I am hoping that I will learn from this experience and grow as person. Spending time with Rachel Gadisi of RachelG Cake and Party has also motivated me to never stop learning and polishing my skills.

Going back to Toastmasters, I attended the first meeting and I must say I am excited already. The previous club president was more than eager to walk us through the rules and process of the club. Toastmasters is well structured, members give speeches, take meeting roles, and give guidance and feedback. There are roles that must be field by different members during each and every club meeting, this is meant to improve the member’s leadership skills.  It is about strength building by giving constructive feedback in a structured manner. I learned a lot from the meeting, it is not just about your written speech, but a combination of couple of technics in order to deliver the message and connect with your audience. It is about writing a speech that will talk to your audience not at them or talking past them. A good speech is 53 % presentation, how you present yourself, how you engage and connect with the audience. The tone and pitch of your voice also plays a big role when delivering your speech. I am going, to be honest, this is one area I am looking forward to mastering. I get very nervous and my voice fades away, I look forward to learning how to channel my nerves and speak with a stern confident voice, whether I am interviewing, presenting or selling something. I am looking forward to my journey into becoming a better communicator.

The Woman behind the Business with Nyadzawela Rachel Gadisi of RachelG cakes and Party

The size of South Africa’s events management industry is growing. The demand for events planning, from a kiddies party to a wedding is increasing by the day. As more black people participate fully economically we have seen the rise of the middle class using the services of events planners or services that were not previously made use of.

Genesis ……………..

Rachel Nyadzawela Gadisi is a 4th born child of a Venda traditional artier maker, she was raised in Shayandima in the far north of Limpopo. Her mother started by selling traditional drink (Mabundu), and then went on to make Venda traditional wear (Minwenda, vhukunda na vhulungu). You can say that she was raised in a creative environment where entrepreneurship was the way of life. 

Her road to Damascus:  Schooling and Career …………………………..

 She attended high school at Dimani agricultural high and took Home Economics as one of her elective subjects. I have always assumed that Dimani Agricultural High was the perfect school for her, but after our casual chat, she explains that she should have never gone to a high school like Dimani if she knew any better. She blames the lack of career guidance in our schools as her reason for taking a long road to her passion, she believes that she should have never attended a school like Dimani Agricultural High which was known for Mathematics and Science. Looking back she should have been enrolled in a high school that would have natured her artistic and creative side.  Rachel went on to obtain a Diploma in HR, when she could not get a job she did not sit back and feel sorry for herself, instead she enrolled on a short course in Emergency Care just to secure a job.  By day, she is a part of the Johannesburg Emergency Contact Centre team, and on the side, she is building her Cake and Party company. In a country where unemployment is high and the world facing an economic crisis, we need more of her kind.

Business, entrepreneurship, and philanthropy………….

In many ways, Rachel has been a trailblazer for entrepreneurship in her community. Her case is special because even when she could not get a job that she studied for, it did not stop her from turning a page and writing a different story for her future, she took a leap of faith and her rise to prominence has been fueled by her hard work, a vision, and faith.

She started her Cake and Party company by organizing Kiddies party back in 2010, she would source her cakes from different suppliers. It was after getting negative feedback from her customers with the birthday cakes that led her to a path of baking and decorating her own cakes, so that she could directly own the supply chain. She knew that if she baked and decorated her own cakes, she would receive the criticism as a learning curve for her. She took it like the professional and went to improve her work and that translated to her getting better at her craft. Her approach to business can be directly seen in her having loyal customers who don’t mind ordering from her from as far as Limpopo. Her free time is spent fulfilling orders that need to be delivered to North West province and her home province Limpopo. Rachel has a tendency to befriend all her customers and letting them know her personally, you end up feeling like you are the most important person in her life

“When I started it was not easy, but I persevered. It took me years to build my business to what is it today, the first chair covers and tablecloth I ever owned were handmade, thanks to my dressmaking skills I learned from my Home Economics class and helping my mom in her business. I recall taking a taxi to the Oriental Plaza to buy the material for the chair covers and tablecloth, and I used a pattern that I was given by a certain gentleman in Dobsenville to make them".

This picture was in 2011 somewhere in Roodepoort..Huildekruin.

Splitting the red sea …………………The assistant she received

I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear, the quote by Rosa parks comes to mind when Rachel explains to me how she funded her business. A mother of three, instead of fearing the worst, it became her driving force. She took a leap of faith and went into business with no funding or financial assistance. She explains that she mostly depended on the support of her friends and family. She would take from her savings, her bonus and stokvel monies and invest it into her business by buying assets. 

Rachel believed in her business and she did not only feel the need to invest in the business but also she invested in polishing and improving her own skills. She has in the past years enrolled in different courses and workshops to upscale herself. She has attended Traditional cake deco,  flower arrangement class, just to name a few, she actually says she has attended a total of ten classes. I must say there is a lot to learn in how this dynamic woman runs her business and pride herself with her work.

“I have learned a lot from running my own business, you need passion, tenacity, and drive. You have to live and love what you do. I started the business with my own savings, Stokvel and my bonus money. I would plan ahead for my bonus and when it comes I will invest it into the business, I would buy all that I need to run an event, be it a kiddies party or a wedding, from Jumping castles, chairs and I also managed to convert my garage into my workshop and bought a commercial oven.”

Let me hold your hand lets walk on water ……………….

Rachel believes that it is important to surround yourself with a good supportive structure, if you don’t have, create one for yourself, she says. Her family, friends, and community have played a key role in helping her grow, yet one particular friend and mentor always stands out: Tshililo Muthige has been there for her since the first day, offering her business advice and support. Getting a mentor, someone who’s been there, done that and learned lessons the hard way is indispensable. I must say, listening to stories of women who are there for each other is refreshing.

Services that RachelG Cakes and Party offers:

She offers a full on events management for her customers”

 Party or Events equipment:  Chairs, Tables, Crockery, Plates hire.

Services: Decoration and Flower arrangement

Baking: Custom made cakes, cupcakes, and scones

Greatest achievements so far …………

She shares her greatest achievements as being able to grow her business, she has been able to accumulate assets, from chairs that she is able to hire out to her customers, and other entrepreneurs in the same industry. She also recalls a time where she would deliver goods in her private car, and now the business has grown to allow her to invest in a company car. Her work has been featured in the magazine like Weddings. Having one’s work featured in a magazine is very encouraging, it is an affirmation that you are on the right path………………………………

Plans, hopes for the future……………..

It has not been easy juggling her day job and perusing her dream, but her job is necessary at the moment and time in her life. Her business is like a 4th child to her, it still needs her to invest in it. She would like to see her business grow and employ people in future. She currently conducts basic cake decorating classes.

Give and it shall be given back to you …………………

Rachel is a mother of 3, a sister, a friend to many, a full-time employee and an entrepreneur. To add icing and decorations to her colorful rich life she still makes time to give back to her community. Rachel will always send out a Facebook post and what’s app message at the beginning of the years to remind her friends, family, and colloquies about the Phalaphala FM school shoes drive. She will encourage everyone to get involved in donating a pair that is collected and distributed to school kids who would otherwise go without for the whole year. She has also created a group for all the former Dimani Agricultural High School pupil who are interested in getting involved and what they do there is they keep in contact with the school management and help where they can. They will buy the school uniform for school deserving kids. She recently hosted her 40th birthday celebration, and the entrance gift was a box of sanitary pads that she distributed to schools. I think you can agree with me that Rachel is selfless woman with a heart of gold, making a positive impact in other people’s lives, whether it’s with her family or their community through initiative or business

Contacts………..

Facebook: RachelG Cake and Party

Contact Numbers: 083 240 4437

Instagram: Rachelgadis_Cakes   

RE: Journey Back to Writting: #JHBContentCreators

 It is about 30 minutes passed midnight and I am thinking to myself where do I begin? It has been 3 years since I contribute to my blog.  It has been on my mind since the beginning of the year I have been pondering the idea of resurrecting and giving it a new face. I am sure that I don’t want to keep the angle that I was using previously when I was blogging, but one thing I am sure about is that I like inspiring, motivating and recognizing people especially women, I also love writing.  My plan is to take the two and turn them into my side hustle.

I stopped blogging because I ran out of steam, hit a writer’s blog and truth be told I was struggling to grow my audience. I woke up in January with a determination to write and I knew that it was not too late to resurrect the dream. I undertook a journey of writing my vision for this blog on paper. I wrote down what and who I will be writing about, came up with a standard letter that I will email to people I would like to profile.  When Katchie Nzama, “Thesolowonderer“ posted on Facebook that she would be holding a workshop on Content Creation,  I knew right there that God was listening, the universe was conspiring on my behalf and all I have to do was just say yes.  I just knew right there that this was God's way of saying it's time! You cannot ignore the voice inside anymore. I knew that if I wanted to succeed this time around I need to put my name out there, socialize, say yes to being a student, learn from others, network and hopefully soar this time around.

Waking on Saturday the 25th February was not easy, it was a gray gloomy rainy day, and the weather was just temperamental in Johannesburg. All I wanted to do was stay in bed, ask my son to make me some breakfast and maybe read a bit or curl up on the sofa with a blanket. I decided that my loyal warm cozy bed is not going anywhere, it will always be there for me, but an opportunity to interact with like-minded people and network I am not going to miss it. 

Katchie together with Afrihost hosted the workshop at Afrihost’s head office in Rivonia. It was a picnic setting at their rooftop, the heavens were kind enough to close the floodgates for those few hours that we assembled, discussing and sharing knowledge. The idea behind the #JHBContentCreators workshop was the coming together of young black content creators in Gauteng. How we can all help each other grow in the different industry, be it travel blogging, freelance writing, and marketing. Katchie Nzama established travel blogger shared her insights in how she travels, blogs and create content. She talked us through her journey from just traveling for fun to traveling and blogging as a career. How she has grown her brand and business, her job requires her to be on the road, even though it is fun she also has to make a living out of the traveling. She shared insights on how she runs subtle campaigns always tries to create content that is genuine and not tries to oversell the lifestyle.  She also touched on the concept that traveling is a service that she offers to her clients, she offers her time, she uses her time, data and quality pictures so she is a firm believer that the time and effort she puts in servicing her clients should equal the pay.


I met a lot of interesting people at the workshop and mostly are in the traveling and marketing industry. Young creative minds who have 9 to 5 jobs but are also entrepreneurs who want to sell their services, like me. We discussed how we can collaborate and share information and pass on work.  I met a lady by the name of Phumeza Langa who does PR/Marketing for a security company 9 to 5 but does freelance writing, she profiles dynamic women and she also sells smoothies on weekends. I got to sit next to a lady who is currently looking for a job but she is a food blogger (@BeastlyeastSA and founder of @PulysCupcake).  Apparently, she makes delicious cupcakes, (to bad she did not bring them on that day). I also met a luxury travel blogger. I spent some time in the company of the co-owner of a travel agency that puts together budget travel packages for in and around South Africa. @Travelcheapskate has the young up and coming South African in mind, she would like to see more people exploring their country. We also touched on a topic that is close to my hearts, traveling with small kids, I have promised to blog about my experience and share with her.  I interacted with a gentleman from Zimbabwe, @MeyouHello, who is also in the travel industry and currently starting a platform for the hospitality industry to sell their last minute deals, I must say as an avid traveler myself I am looking forward to the platform as I find myself having made no plans beforehand, but longing to be somewhere I have never been before. I also met a lady who blogs about sex, and also interacted with an avid writer from Namibia and also Kenya. Last but not least, can you believe that I was not the only one with a “boring” 9 to 5 job and yet an interesting travel life?  Thembi Khumalo, is an outdoor sports fanatic. She mostly does sports travel, as she says she loves anything that takes her outdoors from running to cycling and also assembling her own bike.

Enough about the interesting people I met, everyone had an interesting story to share and I took with me nuggets of wisdom from everyone who attended, wish I can share each and everyone’s story. Going back to the workshop, the aim of #JHBContentCreators is to form a community for content bloggers from different industry and a support structure, a platform for supporting each other as young content writers in an environment that is predominantly white. The aim is to help one another grow our audience but also guide each other in terms of writing, blogging and creating content as a service, and hopefully get paid for it. I must say Katchie has opened a door for us and I am grateful to be part of such an initiative.

I might have woken up thinking is this doable, can I relaunch my blog? What will make it a success this time around, what will be different?  I know one thing my blog is about women entrepreneurs, women who are not afraid to fail, women who are not afraid to give more hours or a go an extra mile to start a business or make their dreams become a reality. Women who are not afraid to start from the bottom, from the woman who is making cupcakes and selling them at work or another that selling chickens and delivering them door to door, to the woman who is closing a million rand deal, I think they all deserve to be celebrated and also their stories should be heard. Social media is a powerful tool and I am going to use it to feed your soul.

DOES IT CHANGE THE PRICE OF BREAD?

I am writing this in response to the media frenzy that has been going around about natural hair versus chemically processed hair, and some people extend the debate on whether wearing make-up and cosmetic surgery is part of our culture as Africans. In my personal opinion as a black modern educated progressive independent and economically active woman I think we really like directing our energy in having debates that I cannot for the life of me connect with, I mean the fact that black people (South African and non-South African) like having debates that don’t change the price of bread or puts food into the next person’s life really bugs me.  In my opinion they live us hopeless, divided and still at the bottom of the food chain. These hair, make up and cosmetic debate have really flooded our media, be it Facebook, radio or twitters, blogs and newspaper articles. The debates are always in our faces and those who are “anti” are vocal and passionate about their views and those who are “pro” are just going on about adorning themselves.

People are vocal and divided about what makes us black or true Africans and how people should not be relaxing or chemically processing their hair or having extensions or wearing makeup, and they  connect it all back to colonization. We should have the debate I agree, but we should do more than just having the debate. We should take the debate to another level, because the practice of relaxing (chemically processing), putting on hair extensions, make-up and cosmetic surgery is not going anywhere. When it is all said and done it is a lucrative business and we as black women should own a big stake in it. Whether you think that I should not wear Brazilian hair extension, whether I think someone should not bleach their skin, or someone should have a tummy tuck or liposuction or should not wear makeup, shape my eyebrows and wear fake nails or eyelashes, it is up to an individual. Being African for me is more than just about hair, shaping my eyebrow, choosing between French tips or gel. In my opinion it’s more than just about how I choose to wear my hair. Beauty is also about more than just that and I think no one has the right at this day and age to dictate to anyone what they should or should not do. It’s about choice.

Honestly speaking I don’t advocate for anything. I am pro-choice. I advocate for an opinion of differences. I advocate for respect of people with different practices than mine. I advocate for economic freedom, I advocate for innovation, I advocate for South Africa that solves its own unique challenges, a South Africa that looks at its challenges and encourages people to think creatively to make their lives easier. I advocate for a South Africa that can do more than just debate, but one that sees opportunities all around us and is ready to grab them with both hands. I advocate for South Africans to be more than just consumers but manufactures. Manufacturing will underpin the success of South African Economy. We need new ideas. We need to mentally prepare our minds to identify opportunities. Opportunities that will transform South Africa and Africa as a whole from becoming technology adopters to being innovators.  We really need to take the business away from China and bring it back home where it belongs. Why are we importing Brazilian and Indian hair when we have Ethiopians?

The way I look at is why we are busy having this debates that don’t change the price of bread, while some man in China is busy designing a hair extension that a black South Africa and the rest of Africa will import and use. Why are we letting some guy in China who is not even black, who knows nothing about a black woman’s hair, manufacture the extension for us?  Why does someone who lives more than 10000 miles away, who does not know the frustration with the texture of the hair extension he sells still making the hair extension for me? Why are we not coming up with a formula and manufacturing it ourselves here at home in African soil?

All I know is that while people are having discussion about whether hair extension, makeup and cosmetic surgery is a representation of how African you are or using it as a measure of how we don’t love and accept ourselves, someone in Asia is cashing in big time. while we have these debates through a talk show on radio, keyboard debates (social media), that at the end it doesn't  change the price of bread or move our position in the economic scale or World Bank knowledge economy scale or World competitive report. Nothing we say or do adds value to our GDP or changes the quality of the citizens of this country or create employment. This is what I know for sure as I type this someone from South Africa is on the internet looking for a hair extension supplier in china or booking a flight to go and meet a supplier in china, better yet they are already flying to China to go and find suppliers of hair extension manufactured in China by Chinese, to be used by black South Africans and the rest of Africa. This should make us uncomfortable. As you read this in our harbors they are currently off-loading containers of imported hair pieces or extensions, and who is the target market? Black South African woman. Now, that makes me feel uncomfortable, that gives me sleepless nights.

I don’t doubt that there is some truth in the views of anti-processed hair, make up, cosmetic, the whole beauty industry movement’s views (for lack of better words). There is some truth in what they stand for. They have every right to question the origins of these practices. In the same line, things are changing, the modern woman is influenced by different cultures and people should be given the freedom to choose. As much as I don’t agree with the notion of beauty of a woman with silky long hair, shaped defined eyebrows, long lashes,  and a size 30 waist, with pink skin, but I still see nothing wrong with little enhancement of what God gave me. So I am part of the industry in very many ways.

My view is let us learn from Black Americans, the swearing and belittling each other in songs and calling each other the N’ word  has been turned into a money making industry that contributes positively to the country’s economy. They take words, some unpalatable, some belittling to women and objectifying and turned it into a multi million dollar industry. They walk around with pants showing off their underwear and it has become a trend with someone cashing in big time. Where the world sees a moral dilemma, someone has identified an economic opportunity; a whole new industry is born and thriving. Some have even made it to Forbes list. Even Oprah, one of my favorite women has made millions by convincing people to air their dirty laundry on air to an audience around the universe.  We need to get off our high moral horse and start capitalizing on this, we need to take back our power. No Asian man should be manufacturing my hair extension. That should be making us angry, we should be protesting. 

I CELEBRATE YOU

August is celebrated as women’s months in our country and it is the months I also celebrate my birthday. This year it coincided with a completion of a long standing project in my life. It is a pretty special months for me. I always had this dream for years and five years ago, I took the opportunity to turn the dream in to vision. Little did I know that I will have my own wilderness to the promise land experience? When it all started I thought it was going to be just pretty straight forward, maybe a few little bumps along the way, but in less than a year it will all be complete and I will be in my land flowing with milk and honey. I had a different mind-set then, I thought if the vision was placed in my heart by God it meant I would never come across difficulties and struggles, and it is going to be smooth sailing all the way. In a few months people will be able to see my fairy tale story and just say exclaim wow “and she lived happily ever after”. I did not take into consideration the evil step mom in the kids fairy tale that they exist in other forms and shapes in real life. Like the Israelite I did not expect to come across the red sea in front of me and an army of Egyptians on my tail. I was not ready honestly for that, I just wanted to arrive to my promise land with no distractions, roadblocks or red sea or the Egyptians. I expected to get to the end of the fairy tale and just hear the line in my head “and they live happily ever after”.

I am here in my promised land and it is everything I dreamt about and more. I can now say that when the bible says  God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we can ever ask or think of (Ephesians 3:20)  and we know that all things works together for good to them that love God …..(Romans 8:28) I have lived to experience it. Don’t get side tracked it was not all romantic, I was not any better than the Israelite along my journey I murmured, I complain, I was frustrated, I doubted and questioned my dreams and God’s plan for my life. In the beginning I just wanted to arrive to the end of my journey with no lesson learned, I was not interested in process at all. I did not care nor even bothered to ask myself if there was a lesson for me. I would literally cry, throw temper tantrums and question God. Why did so and so not experience what I am experiencing? Why does their journey look so smooth from where I am standing?  I would also ask God if this is what he wanted me to have. Is this meant for someone like me or did I push my own agenda here? Believe me when I say I was not any better than the Israelites, but through it all at the end I did not throw in the towel. I am going to be honest it was not because I was the smartest, most courageous or strongest or wisest person on earth. I will not be telling the whole truth. It was a combination of the grace of God and surrounding myself with loving caring people in my life.

So today I want to pay tribute to two types of people I met through my journey to my promise land. The first group is what I will call the Negative group: this is how I describe them, everyone who said no to me, everyone who slammed the door on my face and forced me to find another way of pursing the dream that was in my heart other than the traditional way of doing things. They negative respond or the door that they slammed in my face might have caused my nose to become a bit flat, (believe me when I say there was a year where the door was slammed in my face and at the end I thought this is it for my poor flat nose it will not survive I am going to need nose job) but it also assisted me in thinking outside the box and also moved from thinking outside the box to thinking that there was no box. I really got to learn and live the meaning of Jim Rohn ‘s words when he said “ if you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t you will find an excuse. There was a point when I felt condemn by the nos’s and the doors being slammed in my face that I actually thought whenever I would stand-up dust myself and looked for other ways I would actually say to myself  “You must be a sucker for pain and humiliation girl”.

The second people in the Negative group are the cynical people, the nee-sayers, the ones who have nothing positive to say, the ones who are always at hand to remind you that it is impossible, it cannot be done, you are way in over your head, you are too ambitious, how can you stand to humiliate yourself like this. Who has ever done it in your family and what makes you think you will make it unless you are following the traditional way of doing things. Who do you think you are?  I am so grateful I met them in my life because they contributed to who I am today. I moved from fearing their negative pessimistic gloomy words, dreading their looks and dodging their snide comments when you meet them( we all have those people who are so sarcastic when you share a dream with them and when it is delayed you can see and feel how gratified they are when things are not going according to plan).

Last but not least in the Negative group is the so called friends you don’t need. Friend that seems excited when you share the dream with but as soon as you hit the first road block their quick to say I always thought you were way in over your head in the first place, they are always ready to have a pity party with you, they tell you what you need to hear. Believe me when I say they delay your creative process in thinking outside the box, they confide you in a space of self-loathing and never challenge you. It is so comforting, yet so dangerous and addictive like a drug. You hit a road block and if you are not wise you might stay there and build a permanent camp because you have someone who sympathizes with your fears, disappointments, helps you lick your wounds and instead of experiencing a one day pity party you end up staying there and build a mansion. You are not supposed to stay there, pity party are supposed to last for a day and then a solder must stand up and continue on their fight for their dreams.

The last two the negative group is most dangerous ones because they are close to us, they are friends, family and acquaintances they are part of our lives. They are there for a reason to keep us focus. There are there to teach lessons because it is not about just reaching a goal or a dream it is about the process. The process of reaching the dream is supposed to refine us, mold us and shape us into better human beings. The process of reaching a dream can make us bitter or better person, and we should be striving for the latter.

The second group is the group that every human being should have. A supportive group. This is all in the form of friends, family, praying partners and mentors. A valuable lesson that I had to learn the hard way in life is that somebody does not like you or does not believe in you or your dream , don’t take it personally. It does not mean that they are a bad person. They are just not part of your destiny. If you keep moving forward you will come into the people that God has ordained for you. I am talking about people who will listen to your dream and encourage you, people who will remind you of your dreams when you have lost or strayed from your path. People who will not support or attend your pity party but will comfort you but expect better from you. People who will still believe in your dream when you have no hope left in you, those that will see your progress when you don’t even feel it anymore. Those friends who will pray with you when all you want to do is just walk away from it all. We all need those friends who are not afraid to tell us what we need to hear as opposed to what we want to hear. People who are not afraid to confront us when we have gone astray or lost the plot. 

In life it is of paramount importance to understand that people come into our lives for a reason, and learn the lessons that they bring. I am now a firm believer that if you let go of the wrong people and keep moving forward you will come into the people God has placed in your path. God has divine connections in your future. People that will celebrate you, people that will want to be your friends, people that will go out of their way to be good to you, assist and open doors for you. Those are the people you need to celebrate and show your gratitude. So failure, delay and struggles should never discourage us but they should make us better, we should celebrate and appreciate our achievements and milestones because they don’t come easy.  

COMMITMENT

What am I committed to? That sounds like a pretty straight forward question which should have a straight forward answer. I mean human beings operate much like companies, who have mission, vision statement and values, but most company employees will tell you that what is written on paper is very far from what is practiced behind those closed doors. Human beings have dreams, they will tell you without thinking if you ask them what they dreams, hopes and aspirations are  but in reality they are not even walking towards that ideal life.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about my dreams, my purpose in life and career (vision, mission and values in my life), doing “an audit” for lack of better words, am I where I thought I would be in life? Am I heading in the direction I envisioned, have I done all the things I have always wanted to do, been to places I have always wanted to visit or seen what I have always wanted to see or at least am I heading in that direction? Or am I simple just watching life pass me by like a spectator, better yet a victim of my circumstances and my surroundings. Do I wake up in the same side of the bed, brush my teeth, eat the same breakfast, take the same road to work and then go to church on Sunday and repeat the same process with no effort? What happened to my dreams, my plans and my aspirations? Do I get irritated, frustrated or better yet defensive when a thought about how my life has turned out, or worst case I bite anyone's head who dares to question me about a dream once shared with them. Don’t give me that look, you know as human beings we do that, we would rather shoot the messenger and hold on to our failures or lack of action, focusing our energy in  affirming and justifying why we are stuck and have just settled for a pitiful life. in fact we would rather invite an audience and guests to listen to how unfair life is. 

They say that the worst thing is being lied to is knowing that you are not worth the truth, I kind of disagree I think the worst thing is lying to yourself, and not knowing that you are worth the truth. To add to it all the worst thing is not being cheated on but cheating on yourself, your values and dreams and settling for a life of mediocre.  Am glad to say I am not far from the life I envisioned for myself. I have achieved some of my dreams, been to places I have always wanted to visit and I try my level best to live a conscious life and break away from routine from time to time, but with that being said I am not quite there yet. There are dreams that I should have realized by now and I must say I still have not given up on them. Some dreams, plans and aspirations will not be kept silent, they just keep whispering to me, like that man on the Chicken liken advert with a growing craving. From time to time I am forced to conduct an audit of my life and with the help of God steer my ship to the right direction, self-introspection if you want to call it. Company and organizations conduct what they call customer survey and then they go and formulate new strategies.  President Jacob Zuma does a cabinet reshuffle.

During a quarterly meeting with me, myself and I (kindly note that the recalled and expelled members are not welcomed, namely: ego, doubt, shame, self-pity, anger, self -loathing, guilt, frustration, past failures and blame). I have kind of figured out that we don’t reach a resolution and in turn it delays service delivery and progress. You invite them and the meetings are fruitless, disorganized and they bring your organization into disrepute by their unruly conduct  and remind me of my past failures and circumstances, my mind gets clouded and I end up abandoning or postponing most of my dreams, plans and aspiration. So I had to come up with a strategy to keep them out, do everything within my power to make sure that I serve them with legal papers informing them of my decision. I am the CEO and chairperson of my board, I can hire, deploy and redeploy and recall as I see fit. That’s when I had an epiphany,   everything in life needs commitment, from our everyday life, to our plans, dreams and aspiration. We have to commit to the life we want to live like crazy and live it to the fullest.  Living life to the fullest means committing to our dreams, plans and aspirations and refusing to cheat on them with the unwelcome members (ego, doubt, shame, self-pity, anger, self -loathing, guilt, frustration and blame) and if you find that they invite themselves back in your life, don’t be hard yourself just simply show them the door, and renew your vows to your life of purpose (dreams, plans and aspirations),  in all honesty  it takes strategic commitment to live a purposeful life, to dream in color and strive towards making those dreams a reality, to not only hope but to act, to not just aspire but inspire yourself.  Your dreams, hopes, plans and inspiration deserves a niche market in this complicated life, full of disappointment, pain, heartache and responsibilities.

 I really admire people who are habitual drinkers or smokers, actually admire is an understatement, they inspire me. People who are habitual drinkers or smokers are dedicated, they are committed and they always faithful to their habits. They always have the same routine, they drink every Friday, Saturday and Sunday they will have a beer or two. I mean that is true illustration of what commitment is made of. They defend and preserve their habits, and they are big on sharing. So my question is what are you committed too? Why have you gone from cheating with unwelcome members (ego, doubt, shame, self-pity, anger, self -loathing, guilt, frustration, failure  and blame) and now you stay on a  full time bases with them, walking away from your life of purpose(dreams, hopes, plans and aspiration). We all have vision and mission statements in the form of dreams, hopes, plans and aspiration as I said, but are you living them or are you committed to the Unwelcome Members and you have become so comfortable with them and they have become part of who you are? Can you imagine if there was a Khumbul’ekaya program for lost and abandoned dreams, hopes, and aspirations?  It would be very interesting and there would never run out content because your dreams, hope, aspiration and plans would be looking and longing for you. Kindly call a quarterly meeting with your whole self and recommit yourself to living your dreams because they will not be silent any longer. 

On my mind

Last week Monday after battling with an issue for years I woke and I realize that just like the Israelite on Deutoronomy 1:6 I had stayed long enough in this mountain. I decided to step outside my comfort zone and walk away from a comfortable yet purposeless situation. Staying in this situation looked so normal but yet every single day of being in it was like cancer just like the woman with an issue of blood I decided to press through the crowd and touch the hem of Jesus garment. I have no idea what the future hold but I know who holds the future and I can attest to Rosa Parks’ words when one ‘s mind is made up it diminishes fear. The only true freedom we have is the freedom to choose. I have always been afraid of rejection, it has always stopped in my tracks, the thought always paralyzed me, but in one week I have found myself doing things that I thought I was never capable of doing, reaching out to strangers and asking for help, favors from friends without the fear of being rejected or ridiculed. I now know that there has to be a time when a person does more than just pray but step out and be prepared to walk in the water, we must stand in front of the raging red sea and trust that it will not swallow us but God will part it for us. I learned that talking about my misfortune and listening to why I ended up in the path that I am following will not change my situation; I need to make a decision to either live in it or change my course. I am not fearless I am courageous I can say that because as I look back just this week and realize how many doors I have knocked on I cannot help but be proud of myself.  The truth is we are stronger and wiser than we think; we just need to press through the crowd of negative voices, skeptical voices, doubt, fear, rejection, past failure, anger, frustration, self-loathing, victim mentality and reach for our dream, make a change and move forward.