I CELEBRATE YOU

August is celebrated as women’s months in our country and it is the months I also celebrate my birthday. This year it coincided with a completion of a long standing project in my life. It is a pretty special months for me. I always had this dream for years and five years ago, I took the opportunity to turn the dream in to vision. Little did I know that I will have my own wilderness to the promise land experience? When it all started I thought it was going to be just pretty straight forward, maybe a few little bumps along the way, but in less than a year it will all be complete and I will be in my land flowing with milk and honey. I had a different mind-set then, I thought if the vision was placed in my heart by God it meant I would never come across difficulties and struggles, and it is going to be smooth sailing all the way. In a few months people will be able to see my fairy tale story and just say exclaim wow “and she lived happily ever after”. I did not take into consideration the evil step mom in the kids fairy tale that they exist in other forms and shapes in real life. Like the Israelite I did not expect to come across the red sea in front of me and an army of Egyptians on my tail. I was not ready honestly for that, I just wanted to arrive to my promise land with no distractions, roadblocks or red sea or the Egyptians. I expected to get to the end of the fairy tale and just hear the line in my head “and they live happily ever after”.

I am here in my promised land and it is everything I dreamt about and more. I can now say that when the bible says  God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we can ever ask or think of (Ephesians 3:20)  and we know that all things works together for good to them that love God …..(Romans 8:28) I have lived to experience it. Don’t get side tracked it was not all romantic, I was not any better than the Israelite along my journey I murmured, I complain, I was frustrated, I doubted and questioned my dreams and God’s plan for my life. In the beginning I just wanted to arrive to the end of my journey with no lesson learned, I was not interested in process at all. I did not care nor even bothered to ask myself if there was a lesson for me. I would literally cry, throw temper tantrums and question God. Why did so and so not experience what I am experiencing? Why does their journey look so smooth from where I am standing?  I would also ask God if this is what he wanted me to have. Is this meant for someone like me or did I push my own agenda here? Believe me when I say I was not any better than the Israelites, but through it all at the end I did not throw in the towel. I am going to be honest it was not because I was the smartest, most courageous or strongest or wisest person on earth. I will not be telling the whole truth. It was a combination of the grace of God and surrounding myself with loving caring people in my life.

So today I want to pay tribute to two types of people I met through my journey to my promise land. The first group is what I will call the Negative group: this is how I describe them, everyone who said no to me, everyone who slammed the door on my face and forced me to find another way of pursing the dream that was in my heart other than the traditional way of doing things. They negative respond or the door that they slammed in my face might have caused my nose to become a bit flat, (believe me when I say there was a year where the door was slammed in my face and at the end I thought this is it for my poor flat nose it will not survive I am going to need nose job) but it also assisted me in thinking outside the box and also moved from thinking outside the box to thinking that there was no box. I really got to learn and live the meaning of Jim Rohn ‘s words when he said “ if you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t you will find an excuse. There was a point when I felt condemn by the nos’s and the doors being slammed in my face that I actually thought whenever I would stand-up dust myself and looked for other ways I would actually say to myself  “You must be a sucker for pain and humiliation girl”.

The second people in the Negative group are the cynical people, the nee-sayers, the ones who have nothing positive to say, the ones who are always at hand to remind you that it is impossible, it cannot be done, you are way in over your head, you are too ambitious, how can you stand to humiliate yourself like this. Who has ever done it in your family and what makes you think you will make it unless you are following the traditional way of doing things. Who do you think you are?  I am so grateful I met them in my life because they contributed to who I am today. I moved from fearing their negative pessimistic gloomy words, dreading their looks and dodging their snide comments when you meet them( we all have those people who are so sarcastic when you share a dream with them and when it is delayed you can see and feel how gratified they are when things are not going according to plan).

Last but not least in the Negative group is the so called friends you don’t need. Friend that seems excited when you share the dream with but as soon as you hit the first road block their quick to say I always thought you were way in over your head in the first place, they are always ready to have a pity party with you, they tell you what you need to hear. Believe me when I say they delay your creative process in thinking outside the box, they confide you in a space of self-loathing and never challenge you. It is so comforting, yet so dangerous and addictive like a drug. You hit a road block and if you are not wise you might stay there and build a permanent camp because you have someone who sympathizes with your fears, disappointments, helps you lick your wounds and instead of experiencing a one day pity party you end up staying there and build a mansion. You are not supposed to stay there, pity party are supposed to last for a day and then a solder must stand up and continue on their fight for their dreams.

The last two the negative group is most dangerous ones because they are close to us, they are friends, family and acquaintances they are part of our lives. They are there for a reason to keep us focus. There are there to teach lessons because it is not about just reaching a goal or a dream it is about the process. The process of reaching the dream is supposed to refine us, mold us and shape us into better human beings. The process of reaching a dream can make us bitter or better person, and we should be striving for the latter.

The second group is the group that every human being should have. A supportive group. This is all in the form of friends, family, praying partners and mentors. A valuable lesson that I had to learn the hard way in life is that somebody does not like you or does not believe in you or your dream , don’t take it personally. It does not mean that they are a bad person. They are just not part of your destiny. If you keep moving forward you will come into the people that God has ordained for you. I am talking about people who will listen to your dream and encourage you, people who will remind you of your dreams when you have lost or strayed from your path. People who will not support or attend your pity party but will comfort you but expect better from you. People who will still believe in your dream when you have no hope left in you, those that will see your progress when you don’t even feel it anymore. Those friends who will pray with you when all you want to do is just walk away from it all. We all need those friends who are not afraid to tell us what we need to hear as opposed to what we want to hear. People who are not afraid to confront us when we have gone astray or lost the plot. 

In life it is of paramount importance to understand that people come into our lives for a reason, and learn the lessons that they bring. I am now a firm believer that if you let go of the wrong people and keep moving forward you will come into the people God has placed in your path. God has divine connections in your future. People that will celebrate you, people that will want to be your friends, people that will go out of their way to be good to you, assist and open doors for you. Those are the people you need to celebrate and show your gratitude. So failure, delay and struggles should never discourage us but they should make us better, we should celebrate and appreciate our achievements and milestones because they don’t come easy.