COMMITMENT

What am I committed to? That sounds like a pretty straight forward question which should have a straight forward answer. I mean human beings operate much like companies, who have mission, vision statement and values, but most company employees will tell you that what is written on paper is very far from what is practiced behind those closed doors. Human beings have dreams, they will tell you without thinking if you ask them what they dreams, hopes and aspirations are  but in reality they are not even walking towards that ideal life.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about my dreams, my purpose in life and career (vision, mission and values in my life), doing “an audit” for lack of better words, am I where I thought I would be in life? Am I heading in the direction I envisioned, have I done all the things I have always wanted to do, been to places I have always wanted to visit or seen what I have always wanted to see or at least am I heading in that direction? Or am I simple just watching life pass me by like a spectator, better yet a victim of my circumstances and my surroundings. Do I wake up in the same side of the bed, brush my teeth, eat the same breakfast, take the same road to work and then go to church on Sunday and repeat the same process with no effort? What happened to my dreams, my plans and my aspirations? Do I get irritated, frustrated or better yet defensive when a thought about how my life has turned out, or worst case I bite anyone's head who dares to question me about a dream once shared with them. Don’t give me that look, you know as human beings we do that, we would rather shoot the messenger and hold on to our failures or lack of action, focusing our energy in  affirming and justifying why we are stuck and have just settled for a pitiful life. in fact we would rather invite an audience and guests to listen to how unfair life is. 

They say that the worst thing is being lied to is knowing that you are not worth the truth, I kind of disagree I think the worst thing is lying to yourself, and not knowing that you are worth the truth. To add to it all the worst thing is not being cheated on but cheating on yourself, your values and dreams and settling for a life of mediocre.  Am glad to say I am not far from the life I envisioned for myself. I have achieved some of my dreams, been to places I have always wanted to visit and I try my level best to live a conscious life and break away from routine from time to time, but with that being said I am not quite there yet. There are dreams that I should have realized by now and I must say I still have not given up on them. Some dreams, plans and aspirations will not be kept silent, they just keep whispering to me, like that man on the Chicken liken advert with a growing craving. From time to time I am forced to conduct an audit of my life and with the help of God steer my ship to the right direction, self-introspection if you want to call it. Company and organizations conduct what they call customer survey and then they go and formulate new strategies.  President Jacob Zuma does a cabinet reshuffle.

During a quarterly meeting with me, myself and I (kindly note that the recalled and expelled members are not welcomed, namely: ego, doubt, shame, self-pity, anger, self -loathing, guilt, frustration, past failures and blame). I have kind of figured out that we don’t reach a resolution and in turn it delays service delivery and progress. You invite them and the meetings are fruitless, disorganized and they bring your organization into disrepute by their unruly conduct  and remind me of my past failures and circumstances, my mind gets clouded and I end up abandoning or postponing most of my dreams, plans and aspiration. So I had to come up with a strategy to keep them out, do everything within my power to make sure that I serve them with legal papers informing them of my decision. I am the CEO and chairperson of my board, I can hire, deploy and redeploy and recall as I see fit. That’s when I had an epiphany,   everything in life needs commitment, from our everyday life, to our plans, dreams and aspiration. We have to commit to the life we want to live like crazy and live it to the fullest.  Living life to the fullest means committing to our dreams, plans and aspirations and refusing to cheat on them with the unwelcome members (ego, doubt, shame, self-pity, anger, self -loathing, guilt, frustration and blame) and if you find that they invite themselves back in your life, don’t be hard yourself just simply show them the door, and renew your vows to your life of purpose (dreams, plans and aspirations),  in all honesty  it takes strategic commitment to live a purposeful life, to dream in color and strive towards making those dreams a reality, to not only hope but to act, to not just aspire but inspire yourself.  Your dreams, hopes, plans and inspiration deserves a niche market in this complicated life, full of disappointment, pain, heartache and responsibilities.

 I really admire people who are habitual drinkers or smokers, actually admire is an understatement, they inspire me. People who are habitual drinkers or smokers are dedicated, they are committed and they always faithful to their habits. They always have the same routine, they drink every Friday, Saturday and Sunday they will have a beer or two. I mean that is true illustration of what commitment is made of. They defend and preserve their habits, and they are big on sharing. So my question is what are you committed too? Why have you gone from cheating with unwelcome members (ego, doubt, shame, self-pity, anger, self -loathing, guilt, frustration, failure  and blame) and now you stay on a  full time bases with them, walking away from your life of purpose(dreams, hopes, plans and aspiration). We all have vision and mission statements in the form of dreams, hopes, plans and aspiration as I said, but are you living them or are you committed to the Unwelcome Members and you have become so comfortable with them and they have become part of who you are? Can you imagine if there was a Khumbul’ekaya program for lost and abandoned dreams, hopes, and aspirations?  It would be very interesting and there would never run out content because your dreams, hope, aspiration and plans would be looking and longing for you. Kindly call a quarterly meeting with your whole self and recommit yourself to living your dreams because they will not be silent any longer. 

On my mind

Last week Monday after battling with an issue for years I woke and I realize that just like the Israelite on Deutoronomy 1:6 I had stayed long enough in this mountain. I decided to step outside my comfort zone and walk away from a comfortable yet purposeless situation. Staying in this situation looked so normal but yet every single day of being in it was like cancer just like the woman with an issue of blood I decided to press through the crowd and touch the hem of Jesus garment. I have no idea what the future hold but I know who holds the future and I can attest to Rosa Parks’ words when one ‘s mind is made up it diminishes fear. The only true freedom we have is the freedom to choose. I have always been afraid of rejection, it has always stopped in my tracks, the thought always paralyzed me, but in one week I have found myself doing things that I thought I was never capable of doing, reaching out to strangers and asking for help, favors from friends without the fear of being rejected or ridiculed. I now know that there has to be a time when a person does more than just pray but step out and be prepared to walk in the water, we must stand in front of the raging red sea and trust that it will not swallow us but God will part it for us. I learned that talking about my misfortune and listening to why I ended up in the path that I am following will not change my situation; I need to make a decision to either live in it or change my course. I am not fearless I am courageous I can say that because as I look back just this week and realize how many doors I have knocked on I cannot help but be proud of myself.  The truth is we are stronger and wiser than we think; we just need to press through the crowd of negative voices, skeptical voices, doubt, fear, rejection, past failure, anger, frustration, self-loathing, victim mentality and reach for our dream, make a change and move forward.